It was bound to happen. Humans have been fishing for years, and now it seems the fish are finally fed up. They’re pissed off, and making no attempt to hide their piscatorial peeves.

An ancient fish is launching killer attacks from the depths of the Suwannee River in Florida. From what I’ve read, it’s like a war zone and just about anyone that ventures near these waters, is bound to be “attacked” by one of these armour plated pre-historic “monster fish”. This giant sturgeon, dates back more than 225 million years, they grow up to 8ft and weigh in at 200plus pounds (90plus kg), a heavy weight against any WWE opponent. The armour is so tough, not even Chuck Norris would stand a chance against one of these.

Some victims, the ones who survived to tell their tale, report to have been knocked out by huge flying sturgeon. In 2006, at least ten victims suffered injuries ranging from broken ribs, slit throats and fractured spines, to being in a coma for a number of days.

Apparently, the sturgeon comes up from the depths of the Suwannee River and leaps out the water, “attacks” the victim and disappears into the river until the next punching bag comes along. Officials at Florida's Fish and Wildlife Commission (FFWC) say it’s not the sturgeon’s fault. They just leap out the water and people on watercraft just happen to be in the way. They don’t mean to cause grievous bodily harm they’re just doing what comes naturally.

If causing that much damage comes naturally then perhaps the US navy should consider using the sturgeon when at war. And maybe Kung-Fu masters should study them to develop a new fighting style. But I guess, when asked, “What style is that?” and the master responds with “flying sturgeon style”, it just wouldn’t sound as cool as “Couching tiger style”. It’ll make an interesting movie though, “Crouching Tiger, Flying Sturgeon”.

These fish usually wait for the months of June, July and August to lay their attacks on the unsuspecting boating enthusiast. At least one person has been attacked this June when she was knocked out on her yacht by a 130lb (58kg) sturgeon. The regional commander for the FFWC's north-central region, Major Bruce Hamlin, says, "We fear the fish could only just be getting started.”

The giant sturgeon sure is skilled at what it does. They do it with such precision. All I can say is, if this fish really exist and it’s better at knocking people out than Chuck Norris, then “Stay off the damn water between June and August”.

What do you think, do these fish exist or is it just another "Loch Ness" type tale?

You can read more about these Terrorist Ninja Fish at
www.telegraph.co.uk

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